Artykuły dot. negocjacji

Trust in negotiations

listopad 28, 2015 - Artykuły dot. negocjacji

Negotiator / Knowledge base  / Trust

Trust in negotiations

What is trust? When we trust someone, that person is trust worthy (and not the other way around). Whereas trust is not something that a person gains from us. Trust is a quality, which we own. It is a context which we grant people, when we choose to trust them. Such viewpoint of trust is important, because it assumes we are responsible for trust, which we give to people. If we trust someone and that person misuses our trust, then the problem is that we misjudged them of being trustworthy. Role of trust in negotiations Trust for negotiations is like oil for an engine – thanks to it talks go smoothly and relationships are not broken. In the context of trust we don’t lose energy for watching out if our partner is cheating on us and we ourselves don’t plot to cheat against them. Therefore, we can use more energy for listening and understanding, and constructive conversation. Trust is an indispensable ingredient of win-win negotiation based on interests. Trust games When there is not trust yet, or it has been taken away, the game for trust is on. Most people choose to give someone trust based on past experiences – whether a person was trustworthy or not. By thinking this way, we can easily close ourselves in a loop from which neither party will want to exit. This is why I described the thinking about trust above. It is helpful to perceive trust not as something we gain, but something we give. I give trust, because I choose to (not because you showed me you are trustworthy). Let us have the courage to be the first person, who gives others trust. How to build trust? Few words of practical advice:

• Explain your demands. According to psychology, by default we see people in a less brighter light than we do ourselves (especially people we just met). Therefore, when stating our demands we can be misunderstood because someone may judge our proposition as unfair. Behind every negotiator there are circumstances, which determine their shore lines and character of expectations towards the agreement. Sharing them with our partner and explaining our point of view can be a cement of trust. Firstly, this indicates our transparency which implicates honesty. Secondly, the unknown raises stress levels and comprehension lowers them.
• Speak their tongue. It is a standard to know all the technical terms and lingo – without them it is easy to take a fall in trust levels. Get to know the point of view of your partner. Embrace their situation, needs and history. This will be a display of your engagement and good will. Moreover, if you are entering negotiations in a context, which you do not know well, you can play safe: At the first stage of the negotiations, express how you wish to understand the situation so that you can work out a great agreement, but you realize there will be a lot of learning on the way. Ask for forbearance.
• Use reputation. If you have someone, who knows your future negotiation partner, it may be of benefit to engage them. They can write or call your partner and vouch for your competencies and experience. Remember that your partner will meet your reputation before he/she meets you.